GETTING MUELLER-FIED AIN'T GETTING MOLLIFIED (a very short feature). Late April, 2019. Single-item pullout.


You're in the right place! This is the link for just this story, as an archived "stand alone."

This feature appears in the FULL EDITION, with all the other stories published on the same date, and a TABLE OF CONTENTS of that edition, at:

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# 1 feature... 
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From the section:
☆  "The Main News -- though you might not find it any place but here..."
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GETTING MUELLER-FIED AIN'T GETTING MOLLIFIED 
(a very short feature)

Merriam-Webster, the dictionary people, tell us, "Mollify, pacify, appease, and placate all mean 'to ease the anger or disturbance of,' although each implies a slightly different way of pouring oil on troubled waters."

The oil on those waters is about to burn. Our advice is, everybody outta the pool. Go find some rejuvenating tuneage.

Besides, we're what, twenty hours since the Mueller Report was pre-spun and then released. (It got the spin cycle before it got the wash cycle.) And the talking head / cult of personality / singularity focusers / head distractors to protect the corporate agendas / aka "news anchor - show hosts" of cable...

ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT NOTHING ELSE. 

So, we will summarize, for you, the Mueller Report's findings about the Commander-in-Tweet in just twelve words: 

"He isn't guilty of obstructing justice only because nobody followed his orders."

DO YOU WANT TO READ THE FULL (REDACTED) MUELLER REPORT?

Knock yerself out. Here it is, courtesy of the nonpartisan Common Cause:

https://www.commoncause.org/resource/read-the-mueller-report/

The internet had a lot more fun with Attorney General Barr's pre-release press conference. Barr, who is supposed to be the lawyer for the people of the United States, spun the report
no one had yet seen, as if he were the defense attorney for the occupant of the White
House (and more often, the golf course). Most fun of all was had with Deputy AG
Rosenstein's "hostage stare," and "the bearded guy who looked like a Confederate general."
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Boilerplate? Where's the main pressure gauge? And the firebox?

What "boilerplate"? Who came up with that goofy term for the basic essential informational stuff...

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